I got the letter today, and i got into the GAP pogram. I have a placement in England (though I don't know where yet) and basically the wheels are in motion!
I guess it all a good thing, but I'm not as excited about it as I thought I would be. I guess th excitment will eally kick in once i find out where exactly I'm going, and how it's all logisically going to happen. I only wish I had applyed to UBC as well, and some other Universityies, because I think it's too late now, and i never could figure out how to apply online anyways. I think now i can rea;;ly atart to focus on my school work, because I have a plan of where I'm gooing now, and it all suddenly sound's so approachable.
Another thing is that on my placement it said I was all set to go to a Care School, and I suddenly Realised, does that mean a school for children who are Mentally Disabled?? Don't get me wrog, I definatly think that school for childen like taht are great, and I also think that there are plenty of people on this earth that are really well suited for work there, I jsut don't think I'm one of them?? I'm not the Mother T type?
Oh well, i guess I am happy?

Byezers Anna
Finished at 4:28pm

Worst Week

This has been the worst week a school! I hate this school. I don't hate all school, I just hate this school!

Kick puppy's, push over the elderly, and BOYCOT VALENTINES DAY!!

“They" always tell you to think positively, but what if that's harder then it’s supposed to be? How hard is it supposed to be to think positively? Sometimes its easy and sometimes I find it near impossible. If we are all supposed to have somebody we can tell EVERYTHING too, who is mine? I can think of someone, but he’s 7567 kilometres away. He is soon to be 10816 kilometres away. But can I really talk to him either? Do I just think I can talk to him or is that a lie too? Am I lying to my self? A few songs are coming to mind as I write this…and I don’t know if they really work for this thought, but they certainly are bringing out all these emotions in me!
They are:
Run Forrest Run-Alan Silverstrin
Nobody’s Home-Avril Lavign #
Let Me Go –3 Doors Down #
My Happy Ending – Avril Lavign #
Blink 182 – First Date *
There is – Box Car Racer
Vindicated – Dashboard Confessional #
The Book of Love – Peter Gabriel *
Out of My Head – Fastball #
You’re an Ocean – Fastball *
Now we are free – Gladiator Soundtrack *
Knocking on Heavens Door – Avril Lavign *
HELP! – The Beatles #
What if God Was One of Us? - Joan Osborne *#
Like Toy Soldiers – Eminem
Concrete Angel – Martina McBride *
God is a DJ – Pink
Flower – Anon.
The blood of Cu Chulain - Mychael Danna
Absolutely (Story of a Girl) – Nine Days Grace *
Oasis – Wonderall
Shut Up – Simple Plan #
Jaded – Our Lady Peace
Everything You Want – Vertical Horizon
Banditos – Refreshments
* = These are the ones that could make you sick of love, or comfort you in love.
# = These are the songs that kinda make me indifferent toward anything that could exist between two people.
If it ain't marked, then I don't know how I felt towards them but there was something there that gave me a little "twang".
So whether your love sick or sick of love, these songs will get something churning in your heart, love or hate.
I think I’m going to think “Realistically”.

Later on I will be writing aobut the connection between Smell and Memory.


I love Sundays. I get up in the mornings, at 8 and go watch my soap, Coronation Street. It’s from England, and I like it!! Later on today I watched “City of Angels” starring Nicholas Cage and Meg Ryan (who for once (kind of) doesn’t play a Romantic-Comedy woman looking for love in all the wrong places, but find love in the end.). It’s inspired by the modern classic, Wings of Desire; City involves an angel (Cage) who is spotted by a doctor in an operating room. Franz plays Cage's buddy who somehow knows a lot about angels (well that’s not a very good explanation of it but that was what was one Go to this site: . A little later on I watched “Coffee and Cigarettes” that was quite good and I do suggest that everyone see it. It’s funny, and interesting, and sometimes a little confusing (in a good way)! (It’s here: Be careful though, it really makes you want coffee and cigarettes!! I also painted my nails while watching it, they are currently light pink. After that I wondered over to my cousin’s football game and let me tell you it was QUITE intense. They played the full hour and it was tied 3-3. Then their system is two ten-minute overtimes, and they got through both of those to 4-4. After that they had 5 penalty shots each, and who ever had most in at the end of those won. Well his team went first in those, and the two teams were at 4-4 in penalty shots, all of them had gone it, it was kind of sad! Finally, his team went up for their last shot, and it went in once again. The other team went up, and they sent a player who had been on my cousin’s team last year. I didn’t think this was such a good move because the goalie would know this guys moves. Well he did! My cousin’s team won when their goalie blocked the shot, and won the penalty shot round 5-4. It was the most intense football game I have ever seen!! It was fucking cold, but wonderfully intense. It was a cup game and next week they go off to play a Gold team and my cousin is convinced their going to get thrashed, I don’t know if I disagree on not, I mean they are in the next league up?? We’ll just have to see how it all turns out! (He’s at: After the game we went for coffee and it was all wonderfully relaxing, like a Sunday should be. Now I’m home and I’m about to order pizza, do a little homework, but it’s not a must (see relaxing again) and then go out with a friend and try to skateboard, but most likely fall on my ass!! Good times!
A friend of mine just sent me this, and I feel it truly deserves passing on!!
Classic…weird, but Classic!
I also just realized that absolutely no one reads this blog but a few people (i.e. One, Vanessa) and if I just wanted to tell her things, I wouldn’t have to do it over a bog, I could just tell her, I think I need to work on that. Well I don’t know other people might read it, but Vanessa it the only one who leaves comments, and as soon as I figure out how to get pictures on this, it might all work out a whole bunch better!!
Finished at 7:07
PS. I am going CRAZY waiting for GAP to get back to me!!!

Psycological Babble

Understanding the Emotional Merit of Decisions

When we are Children, all of our decisions are in black and white. Our entire world is in black and white. Once we grow older all of our decisions enter a grey area. In order to clarify our decisions we remove the emotional attachment from our decisions. We will make our decisions based on materialistic factors such as the cost, the availability of the materials involved, or the likelihood of success. A child will base their decision on the emotion they attached to each outcome. In order to have a better relationship with your child there are a few things you can do. First, you must have an understanding of the decision making process a child goes through. Once you understand that you can begin to ask them to do things more easily. In a sense you need to reconnect with your inner child, and even if you don’t agree with your child, you need to understand their emotional attachment to the decisions they make. When trying to explain something to your younger child, if you attach an emotion to your statement, you will have a much better response then if you try to explain using materialistic pro’s and con’s. For example:
If you child is asking for something in the super market that you can’t afford try saying this:
“Spending the money on that instead of these groceries would make me (mommy/ whatever your called) very sad.”

Accepting and understanding you child’s emotional attachments to their decisions will help you to become more in touch with your child, and how they view the world. Once you understand why they make these decisions, you can start to figure out how to affect and influence their decisions towards the right things in life.
How did that sound??
Like a real psycologist wrote it??
I made it up on my way home.

I am a...

Simmering Seductress
For you to feel passionate about anything -- from slowly biting into a decadent piece of chocolate to sharing a heady convo with a guy at a party -- your senses must be engaged. "You're extremely in touch with what turns you on both mentally and physically, and you can find even the simplest things intriguing," says Logan Levkoff, a certified sex educator in New York City.
That's why you don't feel compelled to leap from one supercharged event to the next. "You know you can be a passionate person but still incorporate balance in your life," says Nancy Rosenbach, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City and Long Island. "One day you might feel like going skydiving, but another day, you'd be just as happy chilling out at home with a big, juicy novel and a glass of wine."
Your frisky flexibility is also what puts guys at ease. "Because you're open-minded about what could potentially excite you, you don't make men feel as if they always have to live up to a certain fantasy," says Rosenbach. "When you're freed up to explore different sides of your personality together, sex will be better and your intimacy will deepen."


You're a pointy-toe stiletto/slingback!
The latest fashion magazines are your monthly bible. You love shoes so much that you ran out of room in your closet for shoe boxes, so the oven now doubles as a storage unit. You're always looking sophisticated and polished, even when you have jeans on, and Gwyneth Paltrow and Sarah Jessica Parker are your idols. Every seasonal trend is right up your alley, and most trends work back to things that are already in your closet. Looking great was never so easy!


Break out the flirty mesh and silk camisole sets.
You like to be comfortable, but you have been known to throw on the occasional sexy set for a special occasion. You wore a lacy white bra-and-panty set for the wedding, so why not keep things flirty for the honeymoon? Besides, you hope to keep things spicy in the bedroom for a long, long time.

Who knew??

This is cool

So please copy it and post on your own site.
or just email it to me, to, its super short, but cool!

1. What time do you get up? LOL 8:00, I was supposed to be at school then .

2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? Aristotle.

3. Gold or silver? Silver

4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Ummm, I cannot remember, it was a while ago!!

5. What is/are your favorite TV shows? The OC, 24, and ER. (all short concise titles, that's my selling point!!)

6. What do you usually have for breakfast? Nothing

7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? Michael Jackson ( LOL or Michael and Jackson!!jks!...Jo, Laura, you know what I'm talking about!!)

8. What is your middle name? Oh god do you want to know all of them!!, I'll just tell you the main two! Felicity Appleby

9. Beach, City or Country? Beach

10. Favorite ice cream? Cappachino. (wow I cannot spell!!)

11. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? Plain

12. Which would you prefer to buy: shoes or purses? Shoes

13. Makeup or bath products? Makeup

14. Price not considered, what kind of car would you drive? !973 BMW, convertalble

15. Favorite sandwich? BLT

16. What characteristic in people do you despise? Love of their own voice, cockyness!

17. Favorite flower? Bird of Paridise, Lily

18. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Egypt, well africa in general

19. Favorite brand of clothing? No idea!!, I used to like Tommy Hill...but since (according to him) I, a WASC (White Anglo-Saxon Catholic), am the olny type of person who's actully "allowed " to wear the cloths, I don't think their so great anymore! Altough I am a WASC, not a WASP, so who knows, maybe I'm not allowed!

20. Where would you retire to? The French Riviera

21. Favorite day of the week? Saturday

22. What did you do for your last birthday? Ummm, nothing, my 17th birthday consisted of me blowing out the my candles on an apple crisp I made.

23. Where were you born? Vancouver, BC

24. What's your favorite sport to watch? Hockey, and I miss it so much!

25. What fabric detergent do you use? The cheapest!

26. Coke or Pepsi? Niether!

27. Are you a morning person or a night owl? I'm a noon person, but i guess if I had to choose, it would be a morning person.

28. What is your shoe size? 7, completly average, they never have my size in!!

29. Do you have any pets? Yeah! I have 3 dogs, and 3 cats. They are respectivly, Kate, Harry, Sky, Sidney, Marriah, Jebus.

30. Waht do you plan to do in the next year? I hope to be going to England.

31. Do you own any clothing with the colour pink on it? ABSOLUTLY, the more the better!!

32. When is your birthday? June 9th, 1987.

Short, but I like the question's their not the basic : what do you like in a guy/girl? What's you favorite colour? Blah, blah, blah!! I especially like # 31!!!



Basically what I was going to add to the last post, was that my mom was being different. Everyone knows she's usually cool, and most of my friends not her easygoingness, but all of a sudden she's laying down the law!!. Oh well, everything will be easier going after I finish highschool, she was the same way with my brother, and now they only fight about who's going to do the dishes, like always. Even it's less of a fight more of do the dishes. That's ususally it!
Moving on though....
I just got back form Tim Hortons, and why did I go to Tim Hortons you ask...?
Well probably not, because why would you care!But I'll tell you anyways!
We watched Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, and when it was over I was like, hey I feel like Tim Hortons, and Alex's is like " oh ok, lets go" and Dom JUMPS up and screams, "Get the CAR!!"
We run out of the house in a fury, I grab my shoes and run out bare foot, and put them on in the car!! We stopped at a gas station to fill up the car, and Dom and I run over to Timmy's! So great!!! We sat there for a while, Jo, Laura, and Michele were there, and there was this guy named Carl ( or Karl, I didn't ask how he spells it LOL!).Well Alex and Dom left me but they came back a while later and took me home, they're off to Vancouver, for NO reason...Who knows!! Anyways, I have to go to bed, because I have pancakes to make tomorrow for pancake Saturdays, all welcome, it's a tradition!

Finished at 11:06pm
PS Congratulations John. And Curt for your prestigious position on the Ladner McDonald's Baseball team!!

My title

I was looking some other blogs, with title's among them like " Pappa Smurf is a Communist" and "Confessions of the Overdressed”, and I realized I like my title! It’s simple, to the point and leaves me open to diversity. I have read in the past a blog where the title had something to do with dunkin’ donuts ( an American company, so I’m spelling it Donuts, instead of the proper Doughnuts). In each article, the person made some reference to the company, and I found that extremely confining! With my title, I can just start blabbing on and on, and basically all I started out with was “Hia” albeit an excited “Hia!!” so writing something depressing is a little awkward, but I think my true personality comes out in the title, and sometimes I think we’re all entitled to a bad day!

I had the worst conversation/argument with my mom, and it’s was the kind of conversation where you just want the person to shut up and leaves you alone! But she wouldn’t and I’m sure it was one of those conversations where I’ll thank her for it later, but I’m not very happy with her right now. She forced me to talk about school, and how I’m fucking it all up ( my grade 12 year that is ) and every time I said I wanted to go ( we weren’t at home, so I couldn’t even storm dramatically up to my room ) she just said “ No, because I don’t think your understanding what I’m saying!!”. well she jsut freaked on me so i have to go!!I'll finish this l8r.

I could always change my title to Eh?
I do like that!

I was thinking...

I'm not exactly kind to my auntie Jackie, but I have just thought of an amazing Birthday present that I can give her this year, that I think will make up for my cruelty over the past years.
Which is worse, to hurt someone to their face, or to say hurtful things behind their back??
Is it right to mock someone when they just don't understand, or are you walking a thin line , on the other side is prosecuting against handicapped people, and mentally retarded people. Where is the line between making fun of someone who can't help it, ( because of a disablilty) and making fun of someone because they just don't get a joke.
Someone can just not get a joke but be a fucking genius!
I do think we make fun of people to make ourselves feel better, but I liked to hope that one day, people will move on form that and simply feel good enough about ourselves, that we don't need to push other people below us.
When will we by able to show our true feelings to each other without the fear of being wrong or rejected. Some people think the solution to that is marriage, but there are some marriage's where those involved don't even talk to each other about serious things.
I mean what is our life though, Before we were born, we have no proof of where we were, and after we die, we have no proof of where we go
some people could hypothesize, that we are here only for a while and in a religious sense when we are not here, we are with a God like figure, but when he/she/it puts on this earth it to give us a chance to better it in the short time we have. The only problem is we spend the first half of our lives figuring hurt what the problem is, and the second half feeling depressing and doing nothing because we feel we are aunt big enough, strong enough, or able to change anything in this world single handedly.
I don't want to get into a debate over the purpose of life, but I do like to think that the purpose of like is two-fold. Firstly, it is to find the purpose of life. And secondly, if you find your purpose in life, fulfill it, and find your next one. Everyone have many purposes in life, they are infinite, and will continue to line up and wait their turn as long as you live, and maybe even after you die. We have no shortage of our own personal purposes, and every once in a while, people purposes will overlap, and they will help each other out, and complete each other's, and move on to the next one. I like to think that when two people's purposes overlap, considering the brevity of ours lives ( in the grand scheme of things ) the over lap's do not happen often, but when they do, you've just found your soul mate. This is not the case for all overlap's of course, but sometimes, it just happens and if you can recognize that, you are the luckiest person in the world.
I was also considering the purpose of marriage and about a week after I was thinking about it, I watched " Shall we Dance" ( a terrific movie, I suggest everyone ignore the stupid critics, and watch it!!) but in it they is a discussions about the purpose of marriage, and there are two explanations. The first is that people get married because of passion, but the second, and the one I prefer, is that people get married to have a witness to their lives. If our lives are so brief, and the only record we really have of them is our family, we need a witness. I don't mean the only record of us is family. I mean the only record for our lives is family. We have paper documents for every part of our lives, form birth, to marriage, to death and a tombstone, but the only proof that we LIVED is in the people we lived with. People get married to have a witness to their fears, and their loves ( you can't record that on a file ): to have a witness to our joys, and to our shared memories. We need someone to validate our lives, if we are only here to be here, then some people feel we need to be recognized as being here. They want to be checked off on the list as present and accounted for, and marriage is how they do it.
so the next logical question is, why do marriages " fall apart" ( I have fall apart in brackets, because I think it's a trend. 50 years ago, divorce just didn't happen, but that's not to say it didn't exist. (t's been around since that kind who did that thing that time, with the new church) but how many people can say their grandparents got divorced. I'm sure some of them did, but there's not that many!!But how many people can say their parents are divorced, quite a few more. This leads me to the obvious conclusion that is is a fad!)
so why do they fall apart?? Because people think they already have a witness to their lives ( often in their children ) and they see no need for a husband or wife anymore. They are too hasty, they are so used to a fast paced world, with a universe of information at their fingertips ( much like you have it at your fingertips right now!!) and they have although that pops into their head, and they carry it out. I just think everyone is too hasty, we all need to slow down and take a breather. I think at times I might just be happier living 50 years ago.
In conclusion I want to try to be nicer, and not judge people so much. I'm making an over-hasty opinion, of their over-hasty presentation of themselves. If that makes sense. If not ask me I'll try to explain it a little better.

Finished at 10:41 pm, I typed quick on that one, I guess I had a few thoughts on my mind!