It's 1 in the morning and I have school tomorrow. I was home today, and I slept the whole day, and I am still tired, but I have a million and one thoughts running through my head, and I think I'm going to go crazy before I can fall asleep.
I want to go to a party tomorrow, and I very much doubt my mom will let me go if I don't go to school tomorrow. I really do need to go to sleep, so I can get up tomorrow and go to school, and convince my mom I'm feeling better, and go to this party tomorrow.
Just remembered I need to pick up sausage rolls tomorrow, for Sunday, and need to remind my mom to pick up a two liter of pop, and two cans of frozen juice.
Ahh, frozen juice, just remembered something about frozen juice. When Mo, freind of Dom's, was here over the holidays, he was quite taken aback by frozen juice. He had never seen it before! Can you imagine going your whole life (well up until 18 at least) and never having seen something as simple as frozen juice??I mean the Eiffel Tower I can understand. Never seeing the White house sure. But never seeing frozen juice, now that takes talent!
Some of the thoughts running through my head:
I can not wait until the 20th. It's not a "can't wait" excited, it's more a "can't wait, because I don't actually don't want to go, but I know I have to do this". I have to go to my GAP interview. I have to go and look chirpy, and delightful. I have to go and be interesting, and insightful. I have go and do all this, while also looking amazing and worrying about what ever homework I'm falling behind on already (even though by then I'll have only been back in school for 7 day (including the one I missed today, where I probably missed even more work, and notes!!) I am so nervous for this interview. I think subconsciously, I've weighed it with the same importance and being appointed the next pope!! I have this idea in my head. If I don't get this GAP year I will live in Tsawwassen all my life!!Tsawwassen is not a place you live your whole life!!It's a place you grow up in, and then come back to once your married and want to raise your family. I will go to Langara Collage, and MAYBE get some sort of degree. I'll go for a job somewhere, and be shafted over someone who was smart enough in grade 12 to get into UBC!I won't make enough money to live in Tsawwassen and who says I'll ever get a husband and be able to raise a family??I will live close to work wherever that may be and die alone with my cats!
That's what I have in my mind of my life if I don't get this GAP year!!
I want to go to this party tomorrow might, but there is going to be someone at that party, who I like but is desperately in love someone else to a sickening degree!, I hate to name name's on this, but I guess I can give hints. If you know me then guess you'll figure it out. He's from England, but he doesn't live with me. I don't know what I'm doing even thinking about him, madness I know, I don't know what to do? It's not like I'm in love with him ( far from) but when you think someone's God looking and the personality is good too, but their involved with someone, it's hurts even more then them rejecting you, because you can't tell them, but you can't really be around them because you can't help liking them, I mean I like him, but I'd NEVER tell him, and Being around him is the worst, because it's not like I'm love struck, but it's tough, because I know there is always someone better then me, and that's who he is with. That's going to be hard. When you like someone like that, it's uncomfortable to be around him, but, you want to be around him nonetheless.
I have and English essay and math homework that need to be done in time for their respective classes tomorrow, and they are not done. I'm going to have to talk to Ms. Masson tomorrow about my math exam, and that is going to suck, I mean I got 60% but it's never good enough, for me or her or my mom. I also have a Friday detention tomorrow, which I don't deserve! I know what they make the guys do ( pick up garbage, and rake and do garden work etc., but I've never seen a girl on a friday before, and I don't know what I'm going to be doing? I could be good and go ,a or I could skip out on it and go home at 2 o'clock, but I really need Mr. McCall to say good things about me in case the GAP people call him, because he runs GAP at our school. I need to be on my best behavior!! The next few months are going to kill me!! Correction the next 158 days are going to kill me!!!
And the final thought that's driving me nuts!!:
It's 2:30 in the fucking morning and I'm supposed to be up in 4 hours and at school in 6!! What the hell am I doing, I have unbelievable insomnia, I need sleeping pills or something!!
Also, for those of you who don't know, there is an easy and interesting way to learn/remember who to spell Tsawwassen
It's a sentence:
Two silly Australians wadled and walked across a slippery street entirely nude.
Easy huh?Amazing I know!
Good Night, wish me luck!!!
Time finished: 2:36 am.