For Heather

So Heather my dear, you told me to write in this so you could know what the heck was going on in my life ( becuase you are one of the few who read this) so here I am writing in it!
I don't actully have a lot to say, but I would like to suggest that everyone watch " The Upside of Anger", not paticularly in the theatres, but eventually, it's well done.
I do have to say though that I think my mom is currently going through her mid-life crisis, suddenly feeling that she hasn't done anything with her life, and that she is currently useless, but I just wish I could tell her that she had done so much and she has nothing to worry about, I however doubt that. I wnat to tell her she's done a damn fine job of raising me, but even if I did get a chance to talk to her minus the yelling, she wouldn't belive me!
I may have said previously that I lie a lot. Not big lies, but white lies. Lies to get me out of trouble, and I seem to need to tells those a lot. Sometimes I tell them for fun, just to keep my hand in it all, but recently something happened. I met ( well I met him in Septemberish) and found out I can't lie to him. No matter how hard I try, I can't lie to him!! I practically have an allergic reaction!! I knida trashed his place for fun, and becuase I had nothing else to do (it was completly spontaneous) and I was on the phone with him and shaking, literally shaking! I was planning on lying and telling him I had no idea what he was talking about, and then admitting to it a few months later, but I suddenly found my self telling him everything, and he didn't even push for it, he was just asking??It was sooo wierd!! Some might say love, other's hate, but the jury still out for me. I seriously doubt hate, I don't know him well enough to hate him!!He is seriously involved with someone else, and is (not surprizingly) not interested in me!! It's NOT love!!Mostly it really scares me, I've never met anyone like him before, and if thats what I want to do for a living, it scares me becuase there mgiht be othere's like him. I want to be an international interigator for the canadian government (that or a Child Psycologist) and if I meet more people like him, that might not work!

So...Where have I been?

I havne't written in my blog much recently becuase not a lot has happened all at once? Usually thats what it takes for me to actually write something. I have been receiving many of contact informations about people who know people who know people in England, for me to contact and get together with when I'm there. I think I have about 100 people to talk to and have lunch with, it's going to be "interesting"! I really am actully sooo excited about going there now! I'm sooo happy I got a GAP year, and I know it's going to be like the whole world being opened up to me, and now I'm realistically planning trips. I already have palned trips to all parts of Europe, and I'm soo excited to go places with people I know, and go places alone, independently! I'm going to experience all new experience's and it's going to sooo amazing!!!I know that now I can't wait!!!

Byezers
ANNA
XOXO

GAP

I got the letter today, and i got into the GAP pogram. I have a placement in England (though I don't know where yet) and basically the wheels are in motion!
I guess it all a good thing, but I'm not as excited about it as I thought I would be. I guess th excitment will eally kick in once i find out where exactly I'm going, and how it's all logisically going to happen. I only wish I had applyed to UBC as well, and some other Universityies, because I think it's too late now, and i never could figure out how to apply online anyways. I think now i can rea;;ly atart to focus on my school work, because I have a plan of where I'm gooing now, and it all suddenly sound's so approachable.
Another thing is that on my placement it said I was all set to go to a Care School, and I suddenly Realised, does that mean a school for children who are Mentally Disabled?? Don't get me wrog, I definatly think that school for childen like taht are great, and I also think that there are plenty of people on this earth that are really well suited for work there, I jsut don't think I'm one of them?? I'm not the Mother T type?
Oh well, i guess I am happy?

Byezers Anna
XOXO
Finished at 4:28pm

Worst Week

This has been the worst week a school! I hate this school. I don't hate all school, I just hate this school!

Kick puppy's, push over the elderly, and BOYCOT VALENTINES DAY!!

“They" always tell you to think positively, but what if that's harder then it’s supposed to be? How hard is it supposed to be to think positively? Sometimes its easy and sometimes I find it near impossible. If we are all supposed to have somebody we can tell EVERYTHING too, who is mine? I can think of someone, but he’s 7567 kilometres away. He is soon to be 10816 kilometres away. But can I really talk to him either? Do I just think I can talk to him or is that a lie too? Am I lying to my self? A few songs are coming to mind as I write this…and I don’t know if they really work for this thought, but they certainly are bringing out all these emotions in me!
They are:
Run Forrest Run-Alan Silverstrin
Nobody’s Home-Avril Lavign #
Let Me Go –3 Doors Down #
My Happy Ending – Avril Lavign #
Blink 182 – First Date *
There is – Box Car Racer
Vindicated – Dashboard Confessional #
The Book of Love – Peter Gabriel *
Out of My Head – Fastball #
You’re an Ocean – Fastball *
Now we are free – Gladiator Soundtrack *
Knocking on Heavens Door – Avril Lavign *
HELP! – The Beatles #
What if God Was One of Us? - Joan Osborne *#
Like Toy Soldiers – Eminem
Concrete Angel – Martina McBride *
God is a DJ – Pink
Flower – Anon.
The blood of Cu Chulain - Mychael Danna
Absolutely (Story of a Girl) – Nine Days Grace *
Oasis – Wonderall
Shut Up – Simple Plan #
Jaded – Our Lady Peace
Everything You Want – Vertical Horizon
Banditos – Refreshments
* = These are the ones that could make you sick of love, or comfort you in love.
# = These are the songs that kinda make me indifferent toward anything that could exist between two people.
If it ain't marked, then I don't know how I felt towards them but there was something there that gave me a little "twang".
So whether your love sick or sick of love, these songs will get something churning in your heart, love or hate.
I think I’m going to think “Realistically”.

Later on I will be writing aobut the connection between Smell and Memory.